Written by Beryl and used with her kind permission. Beryl lives in north-west England, UK.
I first knew Beryl as a happy teenager, always present at Sunday services, midweek meetings and Girl Covenanters, where she stayed long enough to become a helper. She also taught some of the youngest children in the Sunday school. When I got married, Beryl was my bridesmaid! Beryl’s disability affected every aspect of her daily life, but she showed no self-pity, only gratitude to the Saviour who she knew had loved her and given Himself for her.
Beryl wrote this testimony, focussing on the effects of aging, when she was asked to speak at a ladies’ meeting. The years since Beryl wrote this testimony have not been easy, with increasing physical limitations. But she is still trusting In the Saviour who has helped her this far. She knows that He will be with her to the end of the journey when she will see Him face to face.
Jean Stapleton.
Carried For A Lifetime
Towards the end of the year, I have (LORD permitting) one of those special decade birthdays coming up. I am going to be 70! SEVENTY! It’s extra special because the day I was born I wasn’t expected to live through the night! I took too long being born and a side of my brain was injured in the birth and I have had a disability — Cerebral Palsy — all my life and was the only child of my Mum and Dad.
In Isaiah 46 verses 3 and 4, God tells His ancient people, Israel, He had: “UPHELD them since they were CONCIEVED and had CARRIED THEM since their BIRTH, even to OLD AGE, grey hairs.” That’s what I feel the LORD has done for me! He has upheld me since birth. Carried me since born. Carried me from birth to old age. Carried me for a lifetime. With David, the psalmist, I can say that “He has been my confidence from my youth.” Psalm 71:5.
I knew of God’s love very early on (about five) in my life. We lived in a “Pre-Fab” house in Liverpool and the young girl who lived next door (who was about eight or nine) asked my Mum if she could take me to a Salvation Army Sunday School held in the local day- school which I attended and which was just steps away from our house. My Mum (who wasn’t a Christian at this point) said if the young girl took care of me, she could take me to the Sunday School. I don’t remember anything about the people or what they taught, but I do remember a little song I heard there (and have never heard since!) it went like this:-
“When you see a rainbow, remember God is love.
Yes God is love. Yes God is love.
When you see a rainbow, remember God is love.”
Years later, in another Sunday School (we had moved house to another area of Liverpool by then) when I was thirteen I learned a bit more, that not only is God love but that He loved me personally and had showed, demonstrated, His extreme love by sending His only Son, the Lord Jesus, to die on the cross for me, for my sin, so that I would not have to face judgement and eternal death for my sin but to give me eternal life. And that I had to make a response to this information. I had to acknowledge I was sinful and needed a Saviour and put my personal trust in the Lord Jesus and His death on the cross and His rising again from the dead and give-over the running of my life to Him. This, I gladly did. And He has loved and cared for me so beautifully all my life to this point now where I am an elderly lady.
But now back to the point “Thoughts on ageing”. To be honest — I have found ageing to be a bit of a stripping process. Lots of changes and losses do come with it. Not just the deep and stinging loss of dearly loved family members and close, precious friends by death and because of moves and other changes of circumstances, but also the loss of physical vitality and the weakness which comes with age. For me personally, these two things have been the hardest to come to terms with. But the LORD is good —absolutely good and He gives “power to the weak” and “strength equal to the day” when we look to Him and depend completely on Him. And there are compensations among the losses. Let me give a couple of personal examples.
I used to be able to drive a car. Not an ordinary car of course, but an adapted one, because of my disability. It didn’t have a wheel. It had a Tiller bar and handlebars like a motor bike! But it reached the point where it couldn’t be fixed and it couldn’t be replaced. This was a big blow to my independence and freedom. My already declining energy plummeted still further and faster. And made my world a much narrower place. But there are bonuses. I don’t have to worry now about the car breaking down in some out of the way place or in a dangerous position and have all the hassle that always followed of getting someone who was willing to fix the car. Because of its unique adaptations, people were always wary of touching it! I don’t have to fret about whether or not the car will pass the yearly dreaded M.O.T. test. I don’t have to get up-tight about getting photos for a driving license renewal. (Those photos are a nightmare, if you shake and can’t keep your head steady — which because of my disability, I can’t!!). I don’t have to be anxious about getting petrol in an oil strike or about my failing eyesight not being up to the standard for driving. Oh, so many compensations!
Another wonderful compensation of ageing, again for me in particular, has been youngsters don’t stare or make fun of me anymore because of my disability. I have somehow become “invisible” to them now or perhaps it’s that they just see me as any other normal old lady with a “three-wheel walking aid”!! I can now go out at the time school releases and not have to worry about being mimicked and taunted. Previously, I would avoid being out at such times. This is very freeing and wonderful after years and years of such treatment. It’s another compensation of aging for which I am so thankful! Of course, everyone’s compensations will be different but I believe they will be there and if you look for them, you will surely find them! Throughout my life, I have found there are hidden blessings in all things.
The feeling of “useless” is another difficulty which comes along with ageing. In my case, in view of my disability, perhaps I have had longer to struggle, and more time to come to terms and cope with this one! I cling to the truth that, “Though we lose all our “use” — we lose none of our “value”. We are valuable not because of our “function” but because of our “Maker”. I firmly believe that everyone is created on purpose and with a purpose.
“Looking in the rear-view mirror”, i.e. dwelling on the “might-have- beens” is another age hazard. Never a good idea! I once heard an old missionary friend of mine say in a talk she gave:- “Never allow yourself to wish this, or that, had been otherwise” and “Never dwell on tomorrow — remember that tomorrow is God’s — not yours.”
Wise, wise words! I have attempted to do this throughout my life and am attempting to do so more than ever as I go through this finishing-stretch season of my life and to thank Him for all that He has given me and not grumble about what He in His love and wisdom, has denied. Sometimes we do reach points where we don’t know how we possibly can go on but we have to trust that as long as we have life and breath, God has a purpose for us. Something special for us to accomplish which nobody else can. He gives life. He sustains life. He preserves life. He takes life. Life is His gift.
I think our emphasis as we get older and into the finishing-stretch of our race of life and faith, should be on two things: Fruitfulness and Faithfulness.
Fruitfulness
The Lord leads us through all the seasons of life. Age is no problem to Him and in each season He wants us to be, and can enable us to be, fruitful. To “Bring forth fruit in season” (Psalm 1:3). Think of Sarah in the Old Testament — the first woman of faith — who went from Barrenness to Fruitfulness. She was 90 and barren. Never had a child. Yet, the Lord, brought something miraculous and strategic to birth in her life. Isaac — the son of promise. The Lord enlarged her life. He made her life bloom and blossom. He made her fruitful and productive. And remember, all this happened at 90!
Faithfulness
Everyone knows the last phase of any race is the hardest. It’s just as you are getting to the end of the race — just before the finish line that the pressure is really on. It’s not good starters but strong finishers that count! And remember, though our physical strength is declining our life is not coming to an end. Indeed, we are just coming into fullness of life. We are drawing near to journey’s end, the Father’s House. The wonderful “place prepared” for us. The place of permanent undisturbed security, unprecedented joy, unparalleled
blessing, where we will behold the beauty of the Lord for ever (Psalm 27:4). We just can’t imagine what it will feel like the day we arrive at the Father’s House! The day we finally get HOME! I often think about it and think it will be something like in Psalm 126 when the exiled Israelites returned home after years in captivity and the Bible says: “They were like people who dreamed, their mouths were filled with laughter.” Their whole beings were filled with laughter, and everything inside them just broke out in praise to God as they exclaimed: “The LORD has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!” The LORD will never leave me. He will carry me all the way home.
“Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come
HIS grace has brought me safe this far, His grace will see me home.”
© Beryl Dare November 2018, August 2025
